We explain what self-esteem is and what types of self-esteem exist. How to improve self-esteem? Self-esteem in adolescence.
What is self-esteem?
It is known as self-esteem set of perceptions, evaluations and appreciations that an individual has regarding himself or the activities you carry out. This can focus on your entire person, your work, or your physical appearance, etc. It is the evaluation we ordinarily make of ourselves.
All people have a mental projection of who they are, what they look like, what they are good at and bad at, and how others perceive them. Whether or not this description we make of ourselves is true, the truth is that it is formed during childhood and our relationship with ourselves rests on it: self-esteem.
Self-esteem is an important concept within the disciplines of psychology and education, so much so that Its definition usually depends on the psychological approach preferred. For example, psychologist Abraham Maslow, creator of the famous pyramid of the hierarchy of human needs, included in his theory an entire rung of the pyramid for “Self-esteem needs”, such as acceptance, confidence, success or respect.
What most psychological doctrines agree on, however, is that self-esteem It is a key value in our relationship with others because everyone admits the amount of love or, on the contrary, the forms of abuse, that they feel they deserve. Self-esteem, moreover, would have its beginnings in our parental relationship, since the approval of the father and mother is key to a healthy personality in the future.
high self-esteem
We speak of high self-esteem (or also “positive” or “correct”), generally when the person has the following personality characteristics:
- Self-confidence The person knows and accepts their values and is willing to fight for them despite encountering opposition. At the same time he is capable of changing something about them if experience tells him that they were wrong.
- Acceptance The person accepts himself as he is, which does not mean that he does not try to overcome fears, conquer bad habits or change, but he does not feel guilty for being the way he is or because others do not find his way of thinking appropriate. .
- Self-assessment The person considers himself moderately capable, with things to offer to others and relates to them in conditions of equality and dignity.
- Passion He is capable of enjoying certain activities and rejoicing in his own existence, which does not mean that he lives in a state of constant joy. You can get sad or happy, like anyone else, but in the face of external stimuli or situations.
low self-esteem
Colloquially, we speak of “low” self-esteem (in other terminologies: “wrong”) when people exhibit any of the following behaviors:
- Constant self-criticism The person remains in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction, diminishing or seeing the negative side of everything they do or receive.
- Hypersensitivity to criticism The person tolerates little criticism and is hostile to those who question him, and is easy to become resentful.
- Compulsive desire to please The person puts those of others above their own needs, in order to receive approval from them, and is incapable of saying no.
- Perfectionism The person demands of himself to do things perfectly, which is often impossible, and the slightest failure represents a catastrophe for him.
- Constant guilt The person is incapable of forgiving himself for mistakes and condemns himself eternally for them.
- Defensiveness The person reacts to life as if under constant attack, and is unable to fully come to terms with the enjoyment of living or joy.
How to improve self-esteem?
Some simple tips to address self-esteem are:
- Avoid comparison Understand that everyone does what they can with what they were given.
- Be realistic Regarding the proposed goals (that they are achievable and in the short and medium term is better), but also to the defects and virtues (do not enlarge or minimize them).
- Practice gratitude Be aware of how great and valuable each part of our being is. Our own recognition is the first step to incorporating the habit of appreciating, valuing and taking care of ourselves.
- Make peace With the past and the mistakes made, with the damage received or with what was lost. It is essential to let go to be able to live in the present.
- Defend your own Do not give in to other people's requests that contradict what we desire or want, nor give up what we are looking for simply to receive other people's approval. Your own is the most important.
Self-esteem and adolescence
Adolescence is a stage of profound physical and psychological changes in the human being, whose imprint on self-esteem can be decisive in the construction of the adult.
This conviction has led schools and educators around the world to address sensitive issues of harassment or bullying, as well as emotional and sexual education, in the adolescent population, since it is the most sensitive and vulnerable in terms of self-esteem.
