We explain what it means to be submissive and what submissive people are like. Also, what are the best tips for someone submissive.
What does it mean to be submissive?
A submissive person is someone who demonstrates obedience and submission to the authority of others, even when said authority lacks foundations. That is, it is someone who easily assumes a position of subordination to others, granting them different amounts of power over themselves.
The adjectives “submissive” and “submissive”, as well as the noun “submission”, come from the Latin verb submissiocomposed of the voices sub- (“below”) and mittere (“send”). So submission can be understood as the act of putting oneself below, which culturally constitutes a place of secondaryness or submission. For example, leaders (political, social or whatever) are generally located at the top of a platform, from where they address their followers.
Submission is part of the dynamics of power and domination that have taken place since ancient times in the history of humanity. For example, absolute monarchies, dictatorships, and other oppressive forms of government reduce citizens to a state of submission, usually through systematic violence, punishment, and fear.
In this way, people’s will is broken and they are forced to comply with an unjust system. However, Acceptance of the law and legitimate authorities should not be confused with submission: all human beings living in society must abide by some form of command.
Even so, There are individuals with a personality particularly prone to submission and subalternity so they usually play submissive roles in their relationships with third parties, granting the latter sometimes excessive authority and power over their lives. This is what the psychological term “submissive personality” refers to.
Characteristics of the submissive personality
According to psychology, the submissive personality is characterized by the following:
- Avoid conflicts at the expense of your well-being. A submissive person is incapable of raising their voice to demand their rights, or of making enemies with someone whom they consider harmful or harmful. Instead, the submissive will always try to be at peace with everyone, often at the cost of sacrificing their well-being and accepting conditions that might normally be considered unfair or undignified.
- Avoid attracting attention. A submissive person will always try to go unnoticed or integrate into the crowd, even when doing so misses opportunities for protagonism desired or necessary for their well-being. Submissives do not feel comfortable being the center of attention.
- Forge relationships of dependency or codependency. A submissive person will tend to associate with third parties in a dependent manner, that is, assuming a victim role that gives the other not only the power, but also the responsibility and task of taking care of their needs. In the sudden absence of this type of person, the submissive person suffers immensely, since he considers himself incapable of taking care of his affairs.
- Have very low self-esteem. A submissive person generally has a tendency to low self-esteem and self-worth problems, and that is the reason why they tolerate abuse and attitudes that they would otherwise reject.
- Tend to shyness and withdrawal. A submissive person often has trouble facing others, especially in new situations. This is usually accompanied by a contracted, hesitant body language that expresses a lack of self-confidence.
- Prioritize the satisfaction of others. A submissive person usually gives priority to satisfying the desires and needs of others, before his own, which makes him a pathologically compliant, but permanently dissatisfied person.
It is important to note that not all of these characteristics should occur at the same time in a person with a submissive personality. Likewise, there are people who act submissively in some contexts and not in others.
Tips for submissive people
Individuals with a submissive personality who want to fight against this tendency in their way of being can be guided by the following advice:
- Go to a specialist. Psychotherapy is possibly the best option to review and discuss, in a safe environment, the problems that may lie behind a submissive personality.
- Practice verbal assertiveness. The submissive person should practice saying what they want out loud, initially in simple or trivial situations, and then in more challenging self-esteem situations. In this way, you will “train” yourself to say what you want and not to simply please.
- Distinguish disagreement from hostility. It is possible to express a disagreement, even have an argument, without engaging in hostile behavior or resorting to insults or degradation. A submissive person must understand this point well to be able to both express their desires and demand the same treatment from others, and understand that others may not agree, without this meaning something bad.
- Exercise self-confidence. The submissive person must exercise themselves to make their own achievements visible and understand their mistakes, to be able to assume what has been achieved and the mistakes made, without hiding the former or magnifying the latter.
Continue with: Empowerment
References
- “Submissive, sa” in the Language Dictionary of the Royal Spanish Academy.
- “Radication of the word submission” in the Online Spanish Etymological Dictionary.
- “Submissive personality: 10 traits” in Alejandra’s Divan.
- “Submissive personality: 10 psychological traits that define it” in Mundo Psicologías.
