We explain what it means to be assertive, how it manifests itself and various examples. Also, why not write “accertive.”
What does it mean to be assertive?
Someone is assertive when they are able to express your opinion or needs in a firm, but not hostile, way. That is, assertiveness is an intermediate point between passivity (letting others decide for you) and aggressiveness (dominating others and imposing your own will). Therefore, an assertive person or an assertive comment are those who affirm their will without violating that of others.
Assertiveness is considered a value and a desirable trait in people, as it greatly facilitates negotiation and communication. Assertive behavior clearly states what you want without necessarily entering into conflict
To do this, it is necessary to express subjective information (wishes, desires, opinions) in such a way that they are not rude, hurtful, inappropriate or harmful, either to the speaker himself or to third parties.
This term began to be used in the field of psychology since the mid-20th century, when the American psychologist Andrew Salter (1914-1996) proposed it as one of the traits that make up people's personality, so that there would be people with greater assertiveness and others with less assertiveness. On the other hand, he suggested that assertiveness can be learned and trained.
Examples of assertiveness are situations such as the following:
- When a person can politely refuse to a proposition that is not in their benefit, and without losing the respect or affection of their interlocutor.
- When a person can ask another for something firmly and explicitly but without the need to bark orders and encounter resistance.
- When a person can express your opinion on a controversial topic without offending the sensitivities of the rest of the listeners.
- When a person can get ahead of a coming conflict and stop it in time through a compromise or a win-win dynamic (instead of win-lose).
- When a person feels authorized to question authority or the status quowithout needing to look like a rebel or insubordinate.
- When a person can openly demonstrate your emotionality (both positive and negative) without hurting others or repressing your inner world.
See also: Assertive communication
Assertive or assertive?
According to the Royal Spanish Academy, The correct spelling of “assertive” is with “s” and not with “c”. This is because the word comes from Latin assertustranslatable as “affirmation of the certainty of something”, and composed by the voices ad- (“toward”), serere (“interweave” or “chain”).
Continue with: Qualities of a person
References
- “Assertiveness” on Wikipedia.
- “Assertive, va” in the Language Dictionary of the Royal Spanish Academy.
- “Etymology of Assertiveness” in the Online Spanish Etymological Dictionary.
- “assertive or assertive?” in Philological Palestra.
