We explain what resentment is and what the characteristics of a resentful person are. Plus, tips for leaving it behind.
What is resentment?
Resentment, sometimes also called resentment or resentment, It is a feeling of displeasure or disgust that is expressed towards someone because they are considered responsible (direct or indirect) for some damage pain or offense suffered in the past. This feeling of discomfort can vary in intensity, either as a temporary annoyance or as a permanent animosity, depending on the subjectivity of the injured party and the seriousness of the damage that was done.
The term “resentment” has Latin roots, it is a word formed fundamentally by the voices re– (Latin prefix of repetition or intensity) and the verb I will feel (“feel”), so it can be understood as “feeling what you experienced again.” That is to say, that a resentful person experiences the harm or offense suffered in the present, as if it had just occurred ; In other words, he cannot or does not want to leave what happened in the past.
The causes of resentment, however, can be very different, depending on each person and the events suffered. You can even be resentful not of someone specific and particular, but of a certain type of people or a social class, because you consider them responsible for your own suffering. The latter is known as social resentment.
Resentment can engender different consequences, among which stands out the impossibility of empathizing with the person for whom one feels resentment, to the point of rejoicing in their misfortunes or suffering. Likewise, resentment can give way to more intense emotions, such as hatred or anger, which can in turn lead to revenge and violent acts.
Difference between grudge and resentment
In general terms, resentment and resentment are exactly the same. Both words can be used as synonyms. However, it is common for them to be distinguished through certain nuances of intensity, which make the resentment a more serious feeling, the result of holding a resentment for a long time. In fact, if you look up “resentment” in the language dictionary, it is common to see it defined as “a great resentment.”
This seems reflected in the origin of the term “resentment,” coming from Latin. rancora derivative of the verb rancescere (“rancid”) or rancidus (“rancid”). This word was used for the first time by the Latin poet Titus Lucretius (c. 99-55 BC), who used it as a metaphor to refer to resentments that, because they are so old, end up acquiring a bad smell, like food. rancid. Seen this way, “resentment” is, literally, a rancid resentment.
Characteristics of a resentful person
Resentful people, in general, appear offended, hurt or angry at an event from the past, to which they can easily return as if it had just happened. Proof of this is that, if they are asked for an explanation, when recounting the damage suffered they will once again show physical and attitudinal signs of anger or indignation. This is because It is a wound that has not been able to heal and resentment is the most obvious symptom of this.
Besides, It is common for resentful people to long for some reparation often in the form of apologies or, when obtained by one's own hand, revenge. Thus, causing harm to the person you resent is understood as a subjective form of justice, even when it is not. Likewise, affection, companionship and brotherhood with respect to whoever they consider their aggressor are usually impossible for the resentful person.
Tips to leave resentment behind
There are different ways to leave resentment behind. Causing harm never replaces the damage received and rarely brings peace to the resentful individual, so it is always best to do the inner and personal work to free one's life from obsessions with what happened in the past.
The following are some tips to accomplish this task:
- Forgive those who offended us. The most direct route to peace is usually forgiveness, even if this does not satisfy the injured party's expectations of justice. Forgiving someone who has offended us in the past can free us from the constant memory of what we experienced and let the pain be buried by time. For this it is not always necessary to express our forgiveness to the offending person, it is enough for us to allow it ourselves.
- Tell and review what happened. This is the path taken in psychoanalysis and other similar therapeutic spaces: talking about what happened, in the hope of being able to evaluate it in a new light and thus obtain the necessary wisdom to let it go. This can be done privately, in a safe environment, or through artistic expressions, such as writing or painting.
- Embrace more positive causes. Resentment can be a driver toward positivity, as long as it is used as a path toward goodness rather than a desire to cause suffering to others. A resentful person can give a kinder outlet to their pain if they feel that it has taught them to do good to others and make the world a better place.
Phrases about resentment
Some famous phrases about resentment are the following:
- “Nothing consumes a man more quickly than the passion of resentment” – Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900), German philosopher.
- “It is the ultimate test of pacifism that in a non-violent conflict there is no resentment, and that in the end enemies become friends” – Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948), Indian politician and jurist.
- “Resentment is an outpouring of feelings of inferiority” – José Ortega y Gasset (1883-1955), Spanish philosopher and writer.
- “If you are not dead yet, forgive me. Resentment is dense, it is mundane; leave it on the ground: it dies lightly” – Jean Paul Sartre (1905-1980), French existentialist author.
- “Resentment is like taking poison and hoping it kills your enemies” – Nelson Mandela (1918-2013), South African politician and social activist.
- “To live happily you have to live without resentment” – Yasmina Khadra (1955-), Algerian writer.
Continue with: Anger
References
- “Resentment” on Wikipedia.
- “Resentment” in the Language Dictionary of the Royal Spanish Academy.
- “Radication of the word resentment” in the Online Spanish Etymological Dictionary.
- “Resentment vs. Resentment” in Psico.org.
